Hunger Pains A Hunger Games Parody
by lexyrocks
Summary: Katpiss Neverclean has been a tribute for the Annual Hunger Pains. With all her stupidity she will never win the Hunger Pains. Or will she?
1. Chapter 1

**Katpiss POV**

I took my bow and arrow and aimed for the deer. It broke into a run.

" UGHHH god dammit!."

"Boo!." I jumped. Peeta!

" If it isn't Katpiss Neverclean."

" You can be a real dick ya know that."

"I'm going to the reaping. Anything to get away from you."

I walked away towards the reaping. " Happy Hunger Pains Oh shit!" I turned as Peeta fell of the hill and into a muddy lake.

I walked away as Peeta came up and was all muddy. "Damm girl got nice butt action going on there!" I turned around quickly and shot a bow into Peetas hand." OW! What the hell! Crazy Bitch! His frown turned into a smile. Meow feisty I like it! I sneered and walked towards the reaping.

Effie Trinket. Talk about ugly slut. She gets breast implants like every year. " Hello Happy Hunger Pains. " May the idiots be ever in your favor! She smiled and set up the projector. A video of breast reduction surgery showed. " Oops wrong video!" Everyone in the crowd was being annoyed.

"MOVE UR DAM TATAS AND GET ON WITH THE REAPING!" Gale shouted. That guy is so gay. He keeps commenting saying that my shoes are sooooo last season. Idiot.

" Fine then." Effie reached into the bucket and took out a slip of paper. "Ladies first." She reached into the bucket and took out a slip of paper. " Primdick Neverclean." I froze. My sister was being taken away by the peacekeeper. "Prim!" I made my way through the crowd. " I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!" I froze. "Why did I just say that?"

"Well then it looks like we have a volunteer. For the First time in ages." I went onto the stage and waited for Effie to stop talking. I froze and I wished I could take those words back. " WAIT! On second thought Primdick can be in the hunger games not me I have a lot to live for!" I began walking back. " A peacekeeper pushed me back.

" Hey! No backsies!" Effie frowned. I mumbled under my breath "dammit..."

Effie turned toward the boys bucket and reached out a slip of paper. " Peeta Mellark!"

I smiled. I'm gonna like this. Atleast I know the first person I'm going to kill. Peeta came on stage.

" WE HAVE OUR TRIBUTES!"


	2. Chapter 2

I sat down on a chair followed by a man with bright blue hair and long eyelashes. " Cina will be here in a minute." He left and I layed there. I pounded my fist against the chair. "Dam I shouldn't have opened my mouth. Primdick should be here not me! I have a lot to live for. Pfft and what does she do? All she does is look around district twelve for a nice boy to hook up with. I shouldn't be here" I repeated. A dark skinned man with gold eyeshadow walked in. He was quite fashionable for a man. Maybe he's gay. I wondered.

"I'm guessing you're Cina-" He put a finger on my mouth and shushed me.

"Sweetie less talking and more being fabu." Yup..definitely gay. He grabbed his makeup kit and began planning his tools.

"What so you're just here to make me look pretty?" He slammed down a foundation brush and gasped.

"BITCH I AM HERE SO YOU CAN GET A DAM IMPRESSION! HAVE SOME RESPECT HOE." He yelled. He calmed down and began applying a foundation.

"Sorry sweetcheeks I just hate when dusty ass bitches like you say stuff like that." Awwww he complemented me. I smiled.

"So that guy from your district...His name is Peeta?" I looked at him.

"Yeah he's a total dick." He stared at me shocked.

"Pfft I don't care. He's sexy as fuck meowww."

"What!?"

"Oh...um NOTHING!"

He finished up with my makeup and got my clothes on that represented the coal miners in my district. I met up with Pita and Cina who seemed to be flirting. But I could tell Pita wasn't interested.

"Ahem." They stopped and looked at me. Cina turned away and got a blue flame on a stick and strutted his way back to where we were.

Peeta stopped and backed away from the flame. "GET THAT SHIT AWAY!" He stopped and gasped.

"Listen BITCH. IT WON'T BURN SKIN NOW CALM YOUR MAN TITS BEFORE I GO BALISTIC." He responded and applied the flame onto the leather of our costume. We got on a chariot and rode off.


End file.
